If you are like me, and most mum’s I know, we don’t hesitate to spend money on our kids. In fact, it basically feels like money slips through our hands constantly to pay for the things of their life.
But pretty much every mum I know, struggles to spend money on themselves.
In the land of two incomes, big mortgages and constant financial stress, the guilt of even thinking about spending money on ourselves is too much. We sacrifice what we need to pay the bills, and give our kids the best life we can.
What we fail to realise though, is that tired, stressed, overwhelmed parents, who have lost touch with themselves, and forgotten how to care for themselves, rub off on their kids.
I want to tell you right now, that spending money on yourself is ok! More than ok actually, it is good. It models self-care to our children, and fills our cup so we can continue to unwaveringly care for our families to the best of our ability.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not say spending money is the way to fill you proverbial cup. What I am saying is that it is ok to take time for ourselves, to get a hair cut, to buy some makeup, to put the kids in crèche and go to the gym, or to have a night out every now and then.
Unfortunately, pretty much everything above costs money. And the excuse of no money, other financial priorities etc, is the most common one mum’s use to explain why they cannot do one or more of those things.
So I have a radical idea. One that can help remove the financial barrier.
Set up a fund to spend on yourself! Whoa, shock horror, this woman is crazy!!!
I promise I am not.
Because you work hard, outside the home, in the home, on the home, and you deserve to have something for yourself. Actually, you owe it to yourself and your family to take some time to yourself.
My idea is to put aside a small amount each week, to use on yourself, or save until it is a larger amount and then use on yourself. Not on the hubby or wife, not on your kids or the groceries, ON YOU!
You can do cash if that works for you, or a separate account if that is better. Oh and I am not suggesting the other half miss out, this is something both partners should do separately in whichever way works best for the individual. Work out an amount and put it somewhere separate. Then use it to spoil yourself!
We cannot care for others if we do not first care for ourselves. We risk our mental health if we elevate the needs of others above our own. We risk our physical health if we elevate the needs of others above our own. It is ok to be selfish for just a little moment sometimes, so that we can love and serve our families better in every other moment.
For years I put everyone else first. But now, I have learned to take a little time and money for me. And as a result I am happier, more fulfilled and more plugged into my little family than ever before.
If you need to chat about how I did it, or need to bounce ideas off someone, I would love to be that person for you. Reach out!